Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Big Deal

I got the cover of another local music review paper. Walla Walla Union Bulletin's "Marquee." (see I took a picture of it with my phone, because they wanted me to pay for an online subscription in order to get the actual article) Awhile back I graced the cover of "Atomic Town" in the Tri-City Herald. I've been featured on KNDU Tv, and KVEW's Good Morning Northwest station. I've been on KONA talk radio, Portland's talk radio program KPAM and Seattle's KIRO radio program. My music has been featured on Gridstream Productions internet radio out of Texas, and Easter Oregon University's college radio program KEOL. I've played live on KORD radio in the Tri and recently, they finally played my single "Baby No" on their morning show. I am referred to as "Up and Coming." I'm the Northwests's new big deal dude...obvi.

 Or not. Not really, but I'd be lying if all the attention that my music has gotten in the short months I've been "out" isn't totally awesome. in July of 2011 I released my EP album, with 4 modest songs I wrote about my life and my past, and of course, as always, my exes. I have a lot to be proud of in such a short amount of time. With little to no expectation of how my music would be recieved by people other than my family and friends, I have been bombarded with "success" thus far. In fact, I'm so cool now that this big concert promotion firm in Dallas has promised to put me in front of major acts to get my name out there. Ya...and this manager, who is, like any manager, probably full of shit, but at least I can say I have a manager, right? Such a big deal. At the end of this month I even get to go to Dallas Cowboy Stadium for the 2012 NFL Draft Preview Party. And the same weekend open at Texas Motor Speedway on a bill that's a page and a half long..but hey, at least I'm on the bill...it's a big show..a big deal.

Before this, I hadn't and probably couldn't be booked outside my local gigs. It's much cooler to most people to hear that I supposedly get to travel the country this summer "touring" instead of saying..Kate has another show at the Crier. Cool. I seem way more legit, more of a big deal now that instead of playing in a dive bar where I grew up, I get to go play in a dive bar in Texas...which in reality..very well could be..what happens. Regardless tour sounds cooler than shows, and Texas sounds cooler than Richland so...I'll take what I can get. All expenses paid people, airfare, hotel, food, plus actual payment for the shows..no less than 500 a pop and all I gotta do is throw on some boots and some eyeliner and sing my very own music. Boom. A big deal, I'm tellin ya.

I didn't even have to pay for my representation. In fact,  management guy saw me on the internet...finally my social networking has paid off. Youtube, Facebook, Ourstage, Reverbnation, itunes, Soundcloud...and of course kateturnermusic.com. I have my own .com now. SUCH a big..deal. All this in less than a year? Doesn't seem real. Or fair? I've watched bands and singers who's parents have all this money to buy them all this stuff and send them to shows and pay for studio time and videos and...everything you need to turn your kid into a star...how's that workin out for ya? Just curious. Not me though, I'm a big deal because I'm good, and not hard to look at which let's face it, helps. I'm what the A & R reps told me is "The whole package" and clearly, since I have not had one record deal waived in front of my face yet, not one, that "whole package" thing is up for debate.

I'm such a big deal that for the first time since all this buzz started about the "Tri-Cities own Kate Turner", I went back to Burbank, where I grew up,  and played a little gig with a friend of mine on Easter Sunday. Last minute thing where it wasn't set up for me, Ed Dailey just thought it'd be cool to have THE Kate Turner appear in Burbank, what with her big ole tour comin up and all...and when I got there a man in the parking lot walked up to me and said,

 "HEY HEY...is Clay Moon playing here today? Read about Clay Moon in the paper, drove all the way here from Richland"

My guitar player Bill gave me the "omg kate's head is going to explode" look and I turned to the man and said,

"You mean CALE Moon, yes Cale Moon will be playing here today"

ps- uhhh don't you know who I AM...psshhhttt. Whatev.

Bill and I take a seat inside where I guess as far as grange shows go, it was a packed house, Cale had his little cd table set up in the back and I looked ridiculous in red pants and cowboy boots because I JUST MOVED INTO MY APARTMENT AND HAVE NO CLEAN CLOTHES. People always tell me, "you don't look like a country singer." Don't let the v-neck tee shirts and chuck taylors fool you man, I know how to dress for a show, yeeeeee haw. A few locals get up there and do their thing, including Mr. Ohman, who recently BEAT ME in the 94.9 The WOLF's singing competition at the fair last year to open on the Main Stage...ya..because I'm such a big deal that I couldn't even win a singing competition..here..where I live..and am such a big deal. Anyway, I get up there with Bill and Mr. Dailey starts going on and on about THE Kate Turner who grew up right here in Burbank and is playing blah blah and blah blah music video on youtube blah..WHO HERE KNOWS KATE????? SHOW OF HANDS...

Cale Moon...and Ron and Kathy Berg..my neighbors enthusiastically shoot their hands into the air..fantastic. I try and be me, someone crude, but no cuss words because I wouldn't wanna humiliate my mother in her territory on Easter..but no one thinks I'm funny. This is way easier when I'm in a bar and everyone is drunk and thinks I'm hilarious. I have disapointed my audience, being THE ONLY performer who doesn't know any gospel music, and instead plugs myself on itunes and sings a Miranda Lamber cover about death. Straight killin it in Burbank y'all. Soon after people cautiously clap for me for the third straight song, Cale comes up to the microphone with a thick..Benton City accent? And is creepily charming. If we wouldn't have been in Burbank, at the Grange, surrounded by old people, on Easter Sunday...the stage would have been covered with panties. I'm 90 percent sure he gave me googley eyes. No Bullshit.

 Just so you know, they took professional pictures after the show..and the only person who wanted mine was Cale. He had a line of pre teen girls who just couldn't wait to capture this day on camera...BIG. deal. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE DON'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW ME.

No, and they don't care, because the 17 year old ginger from Benton City talked about Jesus, sang a duet with his sister about Jesus, and wore a giant belt buckle and sounds like Johnny Cash. I get in my car, before the show is even over, stop by my parents' who give me a guilt trip about missing the egg hunt this morning, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN GET HOME FROM WORK TILL 3AM, I call my boyfriend and pick a fight with him for no reason, then go home, drink too many beers, read the article written about me in the Walla Walla Union Bulletin, stare at my wall of framed Kate Turner memorabilia, and eat a bag of those little cadbury chocolate covered eggs until I nearly puke. Boyfriend brings home a plate of treats from his family's festivities, which I clear in about 90 seconds until I nearly puke, again. Big..freaking..Deal.

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